Holding Grudges

Bianca

It was early Wednesday morning and here I was at work drawing up new concepts for a front book cover. This was what I did for a living, working underneath Mr Mark Austin, who was my boss. At first I enjoyed coming to work- but lately things had been a little stressful. Ever since the news broke out about his affair with that rich lady, Camilla Belle. I was as shocked as everybody else upon discovering the news, but never had the courage to outright ask him about what happened. But Mark was always a private person; not really taking interest in any of his employee's or sparking up conversation with any of us. But it never bothered me much as I hadn't cared for knowing him either. 

                          "Well this manuscript is coming along nicely...and thank the lord it is too!" Chirped up Sharon, who never remained quiet for too long. "I'm gonna make a coffee, any one else want one to?" I thought about it for a second or two before finally deciding. 

                           "Yeah- go on then Sharon- thanks." I gave my design a little more shading before resting my pencil down and looking over what I had accomplished. I heard Sharon stand up from her chair and the casual click, click of her high heels along the tile floor, before she stopped and spoke to Andrew. 

                             "Andy...? What will you be having? Tea or Coffee?" 

                              "Umm... I'll have a coffee please Sharon- thanks."

This was the norm for me at work, beyond the offering of making drinks and finishing off templates, nothing much else happened. Which was just fine for me, as I wasn't really one for rushing around at work putting all my efforts into touch up's. But the day to day hustle and bustle was so/so and thats the way I liked it. Today though, Mark was late- which wasn't entirely unusual... but it wasn't exactly the usual either. Normally he would stay at his lake house on weekends and then come back to his town house during the week, which is where we all worked. Mark never needed much room to run a small publishing firm so he didn't see the need in buying somewhere else to run his business, and why not from his home? It was huge! Then I heard the front door open, and in comes Mark. 

                              "Morning everybody." He says, before scurrying off to his small office. 

                            "Morning." I say without really noticing his presence. Then I turn my head in the direction of his voice, and realise he's already gone. I contemplate for a few minutes before thinking about what caused his lateness? He was a perfectionist after all, and only running late on occasions he got caught up in a meeting with clients, not being known for slacking. I get up from my station and walk over to my computer to check the diary listings for upcoming events, to see if his presence was needed else where- only to find that nothing was present. Then I realise that I have to have a meeting with him at some point today to go over my budget for my client's book- which is a children's book.

I then decide that now is as good a time as any to discuss what needs to be discussed, and follow the trail towards his office. I knock lightly before being ushered inside, and stand before him nervously- thinking about how to raise my query. 

                          "Hi- I was just wondering if we could sit and talk about my clients budget quickly?" I see him musing at his desk before giving me an answer. 

                           "Right. Who is your client again?" He flicks through papers that are spread out all over his desk.

                           "Robert Ashford. He came to us two months ago. Writes children's books." I hold my hands together to settle my nerves and regain my composure. 

                            "Oh... right well let me see. I'll just get rid of some of these papers and check my files." He opens his black briefcase and brings out his laptop, placing it on top of his desk. I marvel at the look of his laptop, thinking it must have cost a few bob and watch him login to his profile. Something about him seems different this morning. Like a new face being inducted into our work environment. I had never looked at him in this way, and start to feel awkward in his presence. For some reason, something about him makes me feel giddy. Whether it be a perfume he was wearing or a new suit? Must be the suit- I contain my frustration, and wait for everything to load. Hurry up!

                          "Ahh- yes. Mr. Ashford. He's the one that came to us from another publisher right?" I start nodding my head realising he can't actually see me agreeing with him. 

                           "Oh- yes, he did. Sorry- must be the early start." He lets out a small laugh at my unnoticed humour. I wasn't trying to be funny? 

                           "Bradwick and Lacey's' thats a pretty good publishing firm... why did he transfer to us?" I try to remember before the switch is turned on.

                           "Because of budgeting problems if I recall...? Apparently a deficiency in funds led to the contract being terminated, and him putting in a transfer to us. The funds he still makes from his other children's series still goes into their pockets of course. Which is why he wanted to start a fresh, with a new series- I'm focusing on design at the minute." He clicks off the program and opens up the folder on his desk.  Looking for references I gather....

                             "Yes- of course! Its a shame cause the series was reining in a small fortune, after taxes and such-it would have proved quite successful..."

                         "Well I don't think he was too happy there either...?" I look around his office taking in all the furnishings and subtle tones that are to my standards. He definitely has a sense of style... maybe that's what attracted the likes of Camilla Belle? 

                           "Oh... Has he raised any problems with us that you lot are keeping under wraps for me?" His statement sends shock waves through my body, and my guard is up immediately. 

                       "Mark- thats not how we do things... low key and shady, its just not our style..."

                        "I know- I just wondered. I hope you lot aren't keeping things from me to protect my wealth fare. After everything that's being said about me, I know what certain people think about me..."

                            "Well we figure that you are a grown man- after all, and a man who doesn't need us to protect him... As well as that- we figure our clients can reach their own approximations..." I see him lean out from his chair and stand to face me, taking me all in and seeing I wasn't afraid of him looking at me face on. 

                           "I say it only, cause Sharon revealed to me that one of her clients was unsure about 'Book Works' representing him, and has filed a suit wanting to move publishers." I gasped at the idea, keeping my shock hidden and my face unchanged. This had been news to me... now regretting my earlier hostility. 

                            "Mark I'm sorry- Sharon hadn't said anything to me...?"

                          "You have nothing to be sorry about- its me. Me and my stupid notions... Thinking that people won't hold it against me or think of me as the evil doer..." I saw where the conversation was heading and hoped he wouldn't take me down the road with him. 

                          "Of course- now you see, my firms reputation will continue to be blighted and everything I have worked for will be disregarded due to what I have done..." He started for the window, and I could see his eyes gazing across all that stood before him, everything that still remained untouched by people's vile perceptions and beliefs that he was manly to blame. 

I didn't know exactly what to say... Do I comfort him and tell him things would change- which of course they would. Or do I let him go on blaming himself, spiralling himself further and further into a rut, leading him astray?

                           "Mark, if you don't mind me saying so...? I think that all you have achieved will stand strong against such critics, you just have to stand strong too..." 

I see him fondling at the hopes that it might come true, keeping my eyes focused elsewhere... Then he looks at me once again, and comes towards me hesitantly at first, before gaining some confidence. 

                         "Bianca isn't it?" I shy away at first, realising that this is the first time he had ever taken notice of me.

                          "Yes."

Meanwhile...

                           "Andy...? Where's Bianca?" 

                          "Uhh... I'm gonna take a leap and guess she went to see Mark?" 

                         "She did? I wonder why...? I guess I'll put her coffee on her desk until she gets back..." 

..............................

                            "Look, I just wanted to know how far I can push the design with the remaining budget... I wanted to keep things in check and make sure I wasn't getting too carried away... I hope thats alright?" His gorgeous smile tells me it's all good, and I begin to relax.

Thats before someone makes their way into his office without even a knock and makes himself known, taking me and Mark by surprise... 

                             "Ohh- umm- excuse me. My name is Howard Chamberlain, and I'm here to see Mr Mark Austin?" 

At first I don't think Mark really took note of the uninvited intruder, but then when seeing the man before us he began to get serious.

                                 "Yes? I'm Mark Austin. Can I help you?"

                                "Uhh, yes you may- I'm here on behalf of Camilla Belle..." Uh-Oh... my cue to leave. I look at Mark and say:

                                 "Excuse me, I'll just leave you to it." Making a beeline for the door and closing it behind me allowing them to have the privacy needed for whatever conversation they were about to have.

                                   "Who was that?" 

                                    "Who?" Sharon replies from her station.

                                   "That man who just went through to Mark... Old, terrible suit... bald...?" I pull a weird face to enforce my description of the silly little man who showed up somewhat- out the blue for whatever reason, but to no avail.

                                 "Oh- that guy." Andrew remarks with a gleam in his eye. "He's Camilla Belle's Solicitor- freaky little guy if you ask me- no people's skills. Guess thats why he's a solicitor to the big wigs of this county, and not us 'little people'." 

                                   "He is?!" Sharon exclaim's, which instantly makes me curious.

                                    "Oh- yes. I've seen him in the local papers... Not a very nice man at all- He's the one that encouraged that ginger bitch to file a suit against her husband, and claim half his money... Gave her all these idea's about how to do a sob story, and make out as if she was neglected for so many years by her husband... some such rubbish- anyway it worked, and she's just waiting for the judges order to go through, when she'll be able to snatch up his money and move on." 

                                 "What a bitch!" They both snap looks in my direction with wide eye expressions and lack of understanding. "How can people just use people like that- like their nothing." 

                                   "Easily." Sharon quip's. 

                                   "It's not as if he didn't help her along darling... he got something out of the little arrangement- anyhow..." I'm a little startled at Andrew's jibe, as it leaves a bad taste in my mouth... I wish somehow there was a way I could make all of Mark's problems evaporate into nothing. But to some degree I can understand where their both coming from. Something about the whole mess was a little doubtful even when the news first broke. But I sit back at the drawing board and try and recuperate... thinking over all the ways I could dissolve all knowledge of Camilla Belle.

...........................................

Mark

                                     "She wants me to sign a what?" I'm completely confused at what this old guy is going on about... "So, she's filed some sort of Lawsuit then?" 

                                      "Something a long those lines Mr Austin. Except she won't be taking you to court; this is just a pre warning to make sure you don't get any idea's about selling your story to the local media or third parties hoping to gain profit from her ordeal..." Her ordeal?! What about my ordeal?! The way she forced me to fall in love with her, just for her to rip my heart out and throw it away?! What about the times we made love, and she told me she loved me?! I couldn't get over how heartless she was being.

                                      "Right. So I'm just supposed sign this and allow all her problems to disappear, whilst I'm left trying to clear my name in the hopes that I can somehow move on with my life?!" I was so utterly shocked I couldn't even form into words what it is I was feeling. Here was this horrid little man, presenting to me this document I had to sign, in fear of being taken to court for slander, or some such nonsense... whilst Camilla could sit back in her pretty little castle- playing victim!

                                        

                                   "Look Mr Austin- I'm aware of how this would make you feel- of course! But I am only here as a representative to Miss Harding-" 

                                    "Harding?" I interrupt. He releases a loud breath of air before continuing his mission statement:

                                     "Yes- Miss Harding as she will formally be known from now on. I can only do as she directs me, and we would very much appreciate you taking the time to read over the document and signing as and where it says..." 

                                   "And what exactly do I get out of this?" 

                                     "A piece of mind Mr Austin. As you know a lot of attention has been grabbed by this story, as she is a notable member of society. People therefore will talk, and I must act in the interests of my client." I think on this thought before going absolutely berserk.  

                                      "How can she do this?! I mean who does she think I am?! Anyone would think this was a set up from the very start! You know what..." 

                                       "Mr Austin please calm down-"

                                     "I bet this was a set up! The whole thing-" I start sweating. I could feel my armpits getting hot, and my palms were wet. I tried holding my hands together to keep me from dwelling on the thought, but all I could think about was getting out the office and rushing upstairs where I could have a bath and think on things. 

                                      "Mr Austin, how about I propose this? I will talk to my client and ask her if maybe another conclusion can be met. Maybe we can reach a financial sum that would make your decision easier...?" 

                                   "Money?! You think this is all about money?! What a laugh! I don't need her stolen money! From my best friend no less!" How dare he? Come at me with all this bull shit about acting on her interests and then belittle me as if I was in the same league as she was!

                                    " Okay Mr Austin- I see we won't reach any finalities today. Maybe I can come back when you are in a right state of mind to make a decision." 

                                    "And you continue to insult me?! You know what? I will go and speak with Miss. Harding myself- and come to a conclusion we'll both be happy with!" I walk past him picking up his briefcase in the process, and open the door directing him to leave at once. This meeting was over as far as I was concerned. 

.....................................................

Bianca

I see the same man who rudely intervened, leave abruptly before allowing the door to slam shut behind him. And once again the same foul smell infiltrated my nostrils making me feel sick. Something about him made me what to run up behind him and trip him up. Why was he here exactly...? Maybe there was something Camilla wanted him to know that she couldn't tell him in person? What if she still loves him? I began to worry... I felt for Mark- somewhat, and I hoped that maybe he'd be able to confide in me and let me help him. Or maybe he'd be stubborn and tell me to mind my own, which wouldn't surprise me- as he was male! But I continued to stare and wait for Mark to come out of his office hot headed, or upset, or something? But he didn't. I fought of temptation to knock on the door too- knowing it would only make matters worse. Hopefully tomorrow would be different. 

I tried again to focus on work... But for some reason, I really felt bad for Mark. Some how I would show him that not all women were like Camilla Belle. That some women want love, and romance and families of their own... Then I wondered what sort of dad Mark would be...? 

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